What NOT to do when traveling

1. Forget your passport. - Yes, I forgot mine before Paris. Realized it when we were 10 minutes from boarding our train. Had to go back and get it and hop on a later train. Luckily it all worked out. Paris was freezing cold, so not too many pictures. It was nice to visit my uncle and aunt though.

2. Miss your flight. - Just missed mine today actually. Was supposed to be on the 11am to SFO, but I underestimated the commute time to the airport and showed up at 10:10am; 10 minutes after they had closed the gate. So I'm back at Jeni's for another night. Had to pay a fat change fee to get on tomorrow's flight. Oh well.

So boys and girls, I hope we can all learn from my example. Pretty bummed to be delayed from my return home. But looking forward to seeing you all again soon.

Fighting the Cold in 2010

Another chilly day spent inside the warm Oval Lounge down the street from Jeni's flat in order to get internet. Just ate a fantastic carmelized onion and goat's cheese tartlet as an afternoon snack. Its supposed to snow this week. Supposedly it was going to start snowing today, but not so far. I am trying to get back to normal health-wise. I came down with a New Year's cold. Its imperative that I get better before we take our train ride to Paris on Thursday. Jeni and I have booked a couple of nights stay at a bed and breakfast and then we are planning to visit Barbara's brother for another couple of nights. I'm really looking forward to this trip, despite the cold temperatures. Haven't been back to "gay Paris" in five years!

Its strange to realize that the end of my trip has finally arrived. And it is a new year. January 1st, (along with a hangover for most of us), usually brings a lovely feeling of having a clean slate. New Year's resolutions are abundant with new outlooks on life, and a general vibe of positivity floats in the air. Even I can feel it, as I sit trapped in my own addiction to cable tv with a box of tissues and a cup of herbal tea while Jeni is at work during the day. I feel a little guilty about not having ventured out of the house much during the days of "dullness" and the only accomplishments I feel I've made while being in London are shopping (which I don't even like). But its not my first time here and going out doing touristy things alone is expensive, not to mention a little lonely. Its quite nice actually to have a period of time to do nothing, because once I go home I will be followed by the black cloud of "you need to find a job." So, in the meantime I am very content in my cocoon of comfort, warmth and stability. Things that are not so easily taken for granted after 3 months of being on the road.

A tout! As they say in Paris :)

Christmas Boxing

Jeni and I have been here in Scarborough at a very lavish vacation rental called the "chalet" with Jeni's uncle and her cousins and cousins' families. There is still snow here on the ground from earlier this week, and its a bit tricky walking on the now icy sidewalks. Christmas morning was relaxing and warm. Jeni's cousin, Ben's two kids are only 2 and 3, so they are still not quite familiar with Christmas. But the presents of course are very exciting to them! After a humongous Christmas feast followed by a cheese course and dessert course with plenty of wine, port and coffee to accompany it, we all played Mexican Train dominoes for 4 hours! At midnight we finally went to bed.

Today we walked into the old town of Scarborough to watch the Boxing Day raft races, which none of us have any idea what they are about or why they started. But it was pretty entertaining regardless. It was just me, Jeni, her uncle, her cousin and his girlfriend today because her other cousin and his wife took their kids to visit her parents for the day. So after walking around the town and slipping on ice, Jeni's uncle, Jon, treated us to a huge lunch of fish and chips with mushy peas and a pint of beer. Afterwards we spent about an hour or so trying to find a market that was open so we could get some more supplies for dinner. Once back at the house, we poured the tea and dealt the cards and chips to play a long game of Texas Hold'em.

As I write this now, dinner is being prepared. It smells lovely in here. The leftover turkey is being transformed into turkey pie. And there's homemade trifle for dessert. It would be so uber English if something other that James Brown's "Living in America" were playing :)

Just Finnishing up here...

The rest of Finland was great. Lots more family time, food, coffee, liquor. Feel free to browse the photos to see...

Last Sunday I was with Juha and Susanna again after spending Thursday evening and night with Juha's sister, Suvi and her family. They were all very warm and fun to hang out with. Friday evening and night was spent with Juha's parents. After a brisk walk through the town where they live, Lohja, and a filling dinner they sent me to sauna. After they were done with sauna, we sat down to our "after sauna" meal of sausages and beer. We talked about family, and what it was like for each of growing up. Penti told me about how strong and courageous his mother had been to raise him and his brother alone after his father died in the Finnish war. Marja and I both shared some sadder memories of our own childhoods. She told me it was because of these experiences that she chose to become a family therapist. Healing others has helped her heal.

Saturday was a long and eventful day of family visits. Penti brought me back to Helsinki where I joined in the weekend activities with Juha, Susanna, Emil and Viveka. First, Britt, a relative of mine related through my grandmother's father's side of the family came to visit. We had coffee and snacks and she showed us all of the photos, and family tree information she had. She was really great to meet, and I'm excited to continue to figure out our family tree together.

Later that afternoon I was introduced to Finnish rap by Juha's cousin and her fiance. We all agreed its horrible and ridiculous, but very much enjoyed watching it on YouTube. After they left Juha's co-worker, Emmy from Holland, and her boyfriend, Myles from the U.S., arrived for dinner. We drank, ate and talked our way to 2:30 in the morning. Fondue with plenty of beer, wine, spiked glogi.

The next morning we all tiredly got up and drove to Juha's parents' summer cottage where the whole family always gathers each year before Christmas for the traditional meal of porridge. Now, this porridge, which is made of rice, milk, cinnamon and sugar is something I definitely remember from my childhood Christmases at the Finnish Hall in Berkeley. Always a favorite of mine, so I enjoyed it. Thirteen people total in this small cottage, sharing this traditional winter meal, six kids (3 under 10 years), and more spiked glogi. It was really great. Suvi was even sweet enough to get me a nice little Christmas gift. I sported the very over-sized snow suit that Juha insisted I wear, as it was snowing steadily. So, I stood with our little crowd feeling like a yeti as we huddled together around a candle that was placed in the snow as a remembrance of Juha and Suvi's brother who had sadly passed away 10 years ago at Christmas.

The party livened up again as we headed indoors to shed our layers and drink hot coffee. As the kids started to get crazy from eating too much sugar and the sky became dark, we all said our goodbyes and I promised that next time I come to Finland I will come in the summertime.

We drove home and spent a quiet relaxed night at home. Monday I went into Helsinki and spent the afternoon wandering through the busy department stores and then had a coffee and a pulla bun at a famous old cafe on the esplanade downtown. On my way back to Juha's house I got to see Joulupukki himself with one of his reindeer standing infront of the supermarket to the amazement of a crowd of toddlers. This was a real live reindeer by the way. I tried to get a couple of inconspicuous pictures as I passed by, since no one seemed to be taking photos.

And after another nice night spent at Juha and Susanna's I flew back to London town.

Coffee talk

I'm really not used to being in snow. Right now, I'm sitting in Juha's office in Helsinki watching millions of snowflakes fall to the earth. Everyone just goes about their daily life, hardly anyone is that bothered by the cold. I can't even make it 20 minutes without losing all feeling in my face and fingers. WITH fur-lined gloves.

Just came in on the train from Turku this morning. I spent the last 3 days with my grandfather's mother's side of the family. 40 years after my own mother made the same visit. I was passed around between houses and shuttled to other houses, so everyone could have a look at their San Franciscan relative. I've eaten SO much in the last few days. Everyone is totally spoiling me. Good thing I did this at the end of my trip rather than the beginning, so I didn't get used to having people take care of me before having to do everything myself. Ancient family albums were brought out along with pots of coffee and plates of cookies. There were even home movies that included the summer trip taken by my mom and her sisters, brother, and parents back in 1969. Filmed at the same house that I visited just two days ago. My mom was so young I hardly recognized the blond girl that she used to be, enjoying the lake and sun and the company of her distant Finnish roots, except for the signature red handkerchief on her head.

Little pieces of the mystery of her habits and likes and dislikes have been solved. Her favorite candy, black licorice made by Panda, is Finnish. My vegetable diet that she fed me as a child - cucumbers, tomatoes and beets - are eaten at every meal here. Even the furniture in our old house resembles the some of the homes I've visited - old Singer sewing machines, antique Scandinavian chairs and tables, old wool rugs hung on the wall, and of course all of the candles and Christmas decorations.

Its so amazing to come to a foreign country where you virtually know no one, and find that you do not have enough time in your 10 days to really visit all of the family members you never knew you had. And how they welcome you open-armed, hardly knowing anything about you except that you are family.

And so it was, that I was welcomed yet again on Monday afternoon, by the shy hugs of Jaana and Oscar. Oscar carrying my bag to the car, before driving us over to have a traditional Finnish Christmas lunch. Afterwards I was taken to their home where they had so graciously made room for me in one of their son's rooms, who slept on the floor of his brother's room for two nights. Jaana gave me a tour of their home and showed me the family relics which she managed to preserve. Her two sons, Antii 15 and Aleksi 10, both adopted as toddlers from Russia, happily made gingerbread cookies with me in the kitchen. After dinner and a brisk sled ride down the hill nearby, they gave me a robe and a cold beer to go take a sauna. It felt wonderful.

The next morning, Jaana and I drove to her parent's house in Kairila, where all of the family gatherings had been happening for over two generations. Probably more. The same place my mom and grandparents went when they visited. During the hour drive we chatted about everything from family to politics and back again. At one point, Jaana confessed to me that that morning while on the way to school, Aleksi had told her his impressions of me. He said I was very nice and friendly, not like how he thought I would be. When Jaana asked him how he thought I would be, he answered that he thought all Americans carried around guns and shot people. :/ Well. Certainly happy to be of service in disproving that myth!

Anyway, Jaana's parents didn't speak any English, so she translated and we ate and drank coffee and glogi (hot sweetened wine with raisins and walnuts), as we looked over the old family albums and identified relatives. Next, we drove to Pori to visit Jaana's brother Jussi and his children. The oldest, Laura, however was still in Thailand. But I met her brother Mikael 16 and sister Helmi 10, and we drank more coffee and ate coffee cake while watching home movies made by their grandfather's sister, which included footage of my mother.

Yesterday, Jaana and Oscar drove me to Turku where we walked around in the old downtown area as much as the cold weather would permit. Ending our outing at a Viking themed restaurant. Lots of dead stuffed animals and animal furs everywhere. Many reindeer and moose furs all over the walls. I had pikeperch with roasted potatoes and beets. Very hearty Scandinavian food, but very tasty. Afterwards we drove over to Tiina's house where we drank tea and looked at more family albums, reaffirming who was who. After Jaana and Oscar left to go home, I spent the evening chatting with Tiina. She also has two sons, Villhelm 14, and Villi 10. Both were pretty shy so they mostly stayed to themselves.

Ok well thats all for now. I've taken a few wintery photos now, but not as many as I should have. I seem to not be so interested in taking the camera out of my bag when it means having to take my gloves off of my already-freezing fingers. I'll try to upload them when I get back to London.

Meeting my family tree

I'm in Helsinki right now. Have been here since Friday night after 10 days of rest, and cold weather preparation in London with Jeni.

When I got out of the taxi, Susanna was at the door to greet me warmly with hot wine and some bread with cheese. They are a few hours ahead of London, so it was midnight when we finally called it quits, but earlier in my mind.

Its so Finnish here. Its snowing, and the Christmas decorations are all adorably red and wooden, or they are paper lanterns and there are candles perpetually glowing. Yesterday morning I greeted Juha in the living room after he had come in very late from a work Christmas party the night before. We all had breakfast and then I headed out to archery class with Susanna, where I was very kindly invited to come and join! So I tried shooting bow and arrows, Robin Hood style for the first time. It was really fun. And I have the bruise on the my upper arm where the string from the bow hit to prove it. After class we met up with Juha and went to a choir performance in the church where Juha's parents got married and afterwards they treated me to a fabulous Finnish dinner at a restaurant by the bay. Very fancy. We ate herring and salmon for appetizers, and REINDEER for our main course, and finished with a mouth-watering chocolate lava cake with cinnamon ice cream and cloud berries.

Today I accompanied Juha to his judo exam. He was tested today for his blue belt, and succeeded! Very good. One of the other guys who was also getting his blue belt told me he goes to San Francisco about every year or so and plays in a band with people who live in the Sunset. But wait - the world gets even smaller. Last summer he stayed with friends in Sebastopol! Yeah, as he drove us over to Juha's daughter, Viveka's, kindegarten, he asked, "do you know this town north of San Francisco called Sebastopol by any chance?" Jeez.

So we went to Viveka's Christmas party at her Waldorf school, and then walked in the snow to meet up with little Emil, Juha and Susanna's son, who was performing in a little Christmas play. The snow started to fall steadily and the sky turned from a slate gray to a dark hazy purple that the trees made black silhouettes on. It was really beautiful and only 4pm. Everything you'd imagine Finland to be. So we joined the crowds of families and gathered to watch the final show, which was an impressive display of fire jugglers set to the musical backdrop of a famous Finnish heavy rock band called Night Wish. They are very melancholy here. None of the Swedish Abba feeling! And then it was really cold so we made our way back and crowded into the car that Susanna thankfully came to pick us up in. My fingers and face were completely numb. I'm way too Californian for this Finnish winter business! We had a lovely traditional dinner of potato and rudabega casseroles with baked salmon and these pinwheel-shaped pastries for dessert. After dinner, Juha and I researched exactly how we are related and found out that his grandmother is my great grandmother's sister! So, Nancy if you are reading this, I am working on the family tree!

Tomorrow I go to the west coast, to Noormarkku where my relatives on my grandfather's side live. I will stay for 3 nights and visit Tuomisalo siblings and their parents who remember meeting my mom when she came to Finland in 1969. (oh and by the way, I brought along her vintage mittens from Finland that I'm positive she must have bought here during that very trip).

Ok, going to finish my beer in the living room with Juha while Susanna gets some work done here in the kitchen. Over and out.

Bolstering myself

Yesterday we went shopping, and braved the crowds in Oxford Circus. I spent a bunch of money, but all on necessary clothing to keep myself from freezing: heavy winter coat, long underwear, wool sweater, wool hat with ear flaps, boots, and long-sleeve shirts. I could still use a second pair of pants (trousers) since I only have the one pair of jeans.

Aside from the material practicalities, I've begun preparing myself for the next great step in my life: finding a new apartment and job to pay for it. And so it begins. I had dreaded the end of this trip, always thinking of it like the horrid crash of dreary reality that I had so successfully avoided this past year. And what a year it was. I wouldn't trade it for anything. BUT, surprisingly, I am finding myself gaining momentum and excitement about my new second chance at making a life in San Fran. I'm certainly not the same "me" as I was when I first moved there after college. I was awesomely young, naive and had stars in my eyes. Not bad, but now its just...different. I'm older, wiser, and feel this great sense of internal calm. I don't need to scrabble for happiness via the external world any longer. The nagging sensation that happiness, adventure, excitement was always dwelling on the greener grass somewhere else has finally subsided. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And for the first time I feel it.

Its a good feeling.